Pregnancy is... weird.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I have gravitated towards kids my whole life... teaching dance, babysitting, being a camp counselor, working at day care, shall I go on?

I never knew that when I finally made the responsible decision with my husband that we were ready to start "trying" (ie: bye-bye birth control), it would happen so fast. Like within a month fast. Yay for being fertile! Danny likes to think it's mostly because he juices and eats so healthy... sure honey, you have super sperm, add it to your resume :)

Keeping the secret that we were pregnant was HARD! It wasn't a secret for long... soon enough the parents and siblings knew, close friends, relatives... let the opinions begin! Everyone has an opinion when they find out you're pregnant. EVERYONE! They want to know how you're feeling, what you're experiencing. They want to tell you their awesome pregnancy and birth stories. They want to tell you their horrible pregnancy and birth stories that you definitely could have done without. Regardless of my conversations with people and all the (entertaining, silly, ridiculous, informative) blogs I've read, I'm not sure I could have ever really prepared for how my world would change since the 4 EPT tests said POSITIVE ! (Yes, Danny made me take four, just to be sure...)

Now that I'm 34 weeks into this 40 week gig, I'm always a little surprised to hear people say "I LOVED being pregnant." I don't want to sound ungrateful or unhappy that I'm pregnant, because we are extremely happy and excited to meet our son and start a family. I know how lucky we are to have gotten pregnant so quickly and with such little stress, and my pregnancy has been relatively uneventful. BUT, it's very strange to watch your body go through so many changes in such a short amount of time. Physically, physiologically, emotionally, spiritually. Your body is no longer your own. It's amazing when you think about it, but it's also a little crazy. A sperm and an egg meet, multiply, and turn into an embryo, and then a fetus, and then a living breathing baby arrives 10 months later?! What?! I can say I'm enjoying this time. Do I LOVE it? I don't know. Pregnancy is beautiful... but it is also weird.

Many women go their entire lives watching their figure, trying to stay in shape, and then, in the blink of an eye, it's supposed to be ok to watch the scale go up.... and up... and up. It's a very hard thing to digest initially... at least it was for me. Everyone has said, "enjoy this time, it's the only time you shouldn't feel guilty for gaining weight!" But still... it's going to have to come off at some point... so I'll opt out of the 3 slices of chocolate cake/ pint of ice cream every night, thankyouverymuch.  Don't get me wrong, I definitely still indulge in my sweet tooth (and carb tooth, if there is such a thing?!) but I'm trying to be relatively conscious of the decisions I make, not only for my body's sake but for the health of baby Tokar, who obviously will benefit from good nutrition as he grows and develops. I've come to terms with my weight gain and I know because I was healthy and active before and will be after pregnancy, in addition to breast feeding, I'll be just fine. I've also been walking my dog a little bit every day, walking (waddling?) on the treadmill at the gym (enjoying the other people's reaction to my baby bump), using the free-weights here and there, and taking prenatal yoga, which I absolutely love. I think if you try to have a balanced pregnancy, you will feel pretty good about yourself. I know I do.

Other than a few mild "normal" symptoms, this pregnancy has been really uneventful. We had a little scare when I received news around week 13 that I was a carrier for a Jewish genetic disease (Familial Dysautonomia, AKA, Riley Day. Never heard of it? Neither had we...). Thankfully Danny's blood work revealed he was not a carrier, so our chances of the baby having the disease were eliminated. The 2 weeks waiting to find out the results were pretty hellish, but ironically we received the good news on Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year. I took it as a good sign, and we were extremely relieved, to say the least... hence the big facebook reveal the same day (I'm so lame)!

My biggest concern as of lately is trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. The body pillow and the ceiling fan are my best friends. I wake up every few hours to switch sides and relieve the pressure from my bladder and see my husband bundled up like it's the North Pole in our bedroom. It puts a smile on my face as I attempt to fall back asleep before baby boy finds a nice spot to jab under my ribs with his growing feet. He always seems to wake up when I do... I guess I should get used to this altered (lack of!) sleep pattern now...

I know these last few weeks will get a little more uncomfortable and difficult as time inches closer and closer to the big day. All I can say is that overall, I'm extremely grateful for my health. My loving fur babies are pretty intuitive as to what's going on with mom... they always keep me company when I'm laid out on the recliner with a heating pad on my low back, indulging in my favorite reality shows and dramedies at night. My husband, god bless him, has been 150% supportive throughout this entire journey, from me changing from an OB to midwives halfway through my pregnancy, to taking hypnobirth and baby classes with me, to researching the best prices and types of diapers and baby products. Even this morning, as I waddled into the shower, he said, "Wow babe, you are all baby belly! You haven't even gained weight anywhere else!" He shot me his gorgeous smile and kissed me on the cheek after kissing my belly. I mean, I could just melt. My parents and in-laws have been extremely supportive, offering wonderful advice without ever seeming to overstep the boundaries of offering TOO MUCH. My chiro girlfriends (and spouses of my chiro guy friends) have been wonderful at keeping me informed, confident, and grounded throughout this experience. I have two dear friends who live locally that are also expecting their first babies, and it's been really nice to go through this with them and connect on a deeper level. I feel so lucky to have such awesome people in my life!

So while I say, pregnancy is weird, I mean it in the best possible way!  As I sit here and finish up blog post #2, I wish you could see my belly distort into the weirdest shapes. Baby boy sure is active... if I ever wondered what it felt like to have an alien in my belly, this would be it! I can't even begin to describe what I've learned about myself throughout this process but I wouldn't trade it for anything!