Tis the Season to Stop Being a Lazy Ass!

If you know me, you know I'm not really a lazy ass. In fact, I'm kind of a badass. Just kidding. I keep very busy and I'm usually very productive. I make time to maintain a ton of my friendships old & new, spend time with family, exercise, sleep a decent amount every night and read an occasional book.  I 've already incorporated many healthy choices into my life... drinking a lot of water, get adjusted, and getting an occasional massage and acupuncture treatments. What I know for sure is that I've been lazy and complacent in one area of my life: food. I don't have a good excuse. It's easy to eat out. It's easy to buy things that are prepared for you, especially from Whole Foods :) It's easy to snack on foods that disguise themselves as healthy when they really are just empty calories and have little nutritional value. Let me just grab a bag of sweet potato chips at Walgreens. Nope, they aren't good for you, stop lying to yourself!

The old adage is true, garbage in, garbage out. As a health care provider, I know better than most that the nutrition (or lack thereof) you eat will either properly fuel your body or cause you significant ups and downs in your energy & mood. I started experiencing the latter pretty frequently, and felt that I shouldn't have to rely soley on my BFF coffee to get me through the day, everyday. Something in my routine felt off, and I was literally and figuratively tired of it.

A couple months ago I learned about a program (not a diet, a fad, or a quick fix, but more of a reset button on your health) called 21 Day Purification. It is made by a highly respected and reputable company (Standard Process). The goal is to remove the processed foods, refined sugars, and anything that may cause sensitivities or allergies and let your body clean out the toxins. I thought, hey, it may be crazy to do something like this right in the middle of holiday season, but there's no better time to focus on my health, especially when a little voice inside of me is saying DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT ALREADY CAUSE COFFEE AIN'T CUTTING IT! And neither is this stuff...

(Here's what my office has looked like since before Thanksgiving. Everyone sends cookies, candies, baked goods, and more to say THANKS for giving me back my health. A sweet gesture... but really?!)

My husband and I discussed doing this cleanse together and agreed it would be easier to have each other's support. I decided to wait until after Thanksgiving and my brother-in-law and now sister-in-law's wedding, and we started December 1st.

Day one sucked. I'm not going to lie. By lunch time I already had a headache from caffeine withdrawal. I had only been awake for about 6 hours and I already felt this way?! Shit. The rest of my workday got progressively worse until I was sent home with a borderline migraine and nausea. I went to sleep at 9:10pm, exactly ten minutes after I put my son down for the night. Tossed and turned and had the sweats, too. Lovely.

Day two I had a headache hangover, and thankfully I was off of work so I kept the day easy and after a 3 hour nap in the afternoon, I felt like a normal human being again. No coffee, meat, dairy, or grains took a little getting used to. It's not easy but it's not hard either. We cut up lots of fruits and veggies to snack on, salads or a bit of quinoa for lunch, and made a couple of tasty smoothies with dairy-free protein. We survived the first few days and by day 4 I felt pretty good and was ready to work out again.

The next few days came and went without much difficulty. On day 6 we had a date night and treated ourselves to the Whole Foods salad bar & bubbly water. Fancy. We started getting the hang of preparing our lunches in advance and being more creative in the kitchen. Spaghetti (squash) with homemade sauce and cauliflower "fried rice" were big hits that we kept going back to. It's like an old flame was rekindled. We used to do this. We liked this. We got lazy for a while. But we're good in the kitchen! We got this!

Day 11 we added meat back into the diet. The recommendation is 2-4 servings of organic, lean poultry, grass-fed beef, or wild fish. It was nice to add protein back into a dinner of steamed veggies or salad! The rest of the cleanse was great, and we avoided tempation a number of times as we ate what we could at the array of birthday parties and holiday parties we attended. We were thankful for veggie trays and salads!

We ended up finishing the cleanse a day early but the overall effects of this journey will last far beyond the three weeks where we had to "go without" certain foods we enjoy. What I took away from this experience is that we didn't have to give up anything, we chose to change our habits and our minds about the food we eat. My husband has a chronic inflammatory bowel disease that is triggered by stress and certain processed and prepared foods. We ignored that possibility for a long time, risking a chance of him having a flare up again. The knowledge that I have about nutrition was sitting on the back burner, as I made excuses for why I only had to eat healthy sometimes. The positives from this experience include feeling full & satisfied after eating fruits, veggies & protein, feeling more naturally-derived energy, sleeping better, improved skin, and a renewed vigor for physical activity which lead me to taking up hot yoga again after a 6 year hiatus. Ultimately being a good role model for my 2 year old son is probably most rewarding. And an added bonus... I lost ten pounds! My hubby and I have decided to continue this journey, and allow ourselves one day per week to indulge in something we love so that we aren't "restricting" ourselves and end up feeling like we're dieting. This isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle change that we've been needing to make for a long time. There is will-power and motivation within everyone. It took something like this for us to find ours again.

The moral of the story... I encourage you to do something that makes you uncomforable. Whether it's signing up for a 5K, an exercise class, eating a salad with every meal, saying no on occasion to the birthday cake at your kids friend's birthday parties, or taking the plunge and doing a cleanse... do something that will positively benefit your life. If you are a parent, the choices you make aren't just about you anymore. Your whole family will be impacted by your good OR poor health.

If you have any specific questions about the cleanse, healthy eating, yummy recipes, or even hot yoga, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. Sometimes all it takes is that one leap of faith. The timing doesn't have to be perfect, the outcome doesn't have to be monumental, but you deserve to be happy, and above all else, healthy, don't you think?

Xo

A call to ALL parents...

For those of you who know me, I'm a glass half-full, happy-go-lucky type of gal. I don't typically let many things get me down and I try to stay positive and optimistic as much as possible. For this reason, I've slowly but surely stopped reading about and watching the news as frequently as I used to. I know that may make me sound a number of different descriptive adjectives (uneducated, naive, ignorant, whatever...) but I just can't stand turning on the evening news to hear about another murder, rape, robbery, or man being swallowed by a giant sinkhole while he sleeps! Now that I'm a mom, these stories get under my skin and terrify the shit out of me. How completely devastated the mothers and fathers of the vicitms must feel... and how awful the mothers and fathers of the criminals must feel, too. Right??

But this morning, I happened to have a free few minutes to myself and caught the latest episode of 20/20, which covered the Steubenville rape case. I mean, there are so many things that happened in this case that disgust me, I don't even know where to begin. Aside from the obvious horrid criminal act that occurred to an innocent girl who unfortunately drank too much and blacked out, negating any "consent" she may or may not have given, the level of disconcern, disrespect, and terrible behavior the boys and other "friends" involved displayed was absolutely disgusting.

For those of you who missed the details of this case, I'll sum it up for you. A 10th grade girl from West Virginia invites herself to a high school party over the bridge in Ohio, where many of the students and football players from a small town Ohio high school are in attendance. Girl proceeds, with her friends, to drink in excess, like many teenagers at parties do, and makes a bold decision to leave the friends she arrived with and head out to another party with some of the football players. She arrives at the next party and throws up all over herself, while sitting on a curb in front of the house. No one helps her, instead, people watch, make fun, offer $ for someone to urinate on her, and take pictures of her on their cell phones. After a quick visit at party #2, they leave, and while heading to party #3, she is sexually assaulted in the back seat of the car (a felony in the state of Ohio). At party #3, she throws up some more, and still, no one offers to help her find her friends, call her parents, or take her home. She is assaulted again and left naked, to sleep it off on a couch at the house. She wakes up not remembering anything and unsure of where she is. It isn't until she goes online that she realizes everything that happened the night before. Many of the people at the 3 parties took pictures, posted derogatory messages, and even took video of the evening's events. The two main boys involved claimed she consented to the sexual acts (not intercourse) that occurred, while the girl has no recollection. Both boys were charged with felonies, will have to declare they are sex offenders for the rest of their lives, and will both serve short sentences in prison. Their lives, and the lives of their families will never be the same because of the decisions they made that night.

There's a lot that comes to mind when I think of this story. Obviously what happened to this girl is extremely sad, scary, and unfortunate. When you learn about who these boys are, where they came from, and hear interviews from their families, it is almost unimaginable that this crime ever happened in the first place, but it did. Where were the parents at the three different parties? Who provided all of the alcohol? Why did the town try to hide what happened and protect the students involved? With a little alcohol, peer pressure, and social media, this case gained national attention because it's happenening everywhere and parents need to know how to prevent their children from participating AND becoming victims.

The scariest thing to me is that just 15 years ago, I was in high school too. I was going to and throwing parties, with and without parental supervision. There were drinks involved, there was music, dancing, "hooking up"... I am not naive to the fact that this has and continues to happen everywhere around our country. In "our day," there were no abundance of cell phones and there was NO social media. We couldn't post our thoughts and actions with the click of an iPhone keypad. I think many children and teenagers these days are not understanding the enormity of their actions, as well as the long term consequences for their actions. Teenage girls are taking their clothes off and sending pictures to their boyfriends, and vice versa. When you make a decision like this, in the heat of "teenage love," why would you think of the reprecussions? Why would you consider that your young love will ever sour, that the person you "love" would ever turn their back on you and share these sacred images with other friends, or even the entire world through social media?

Watching this stuff unfold in our society really scares me for my son's generation. We, as parents, have to do everything we can to keep the lines of communication OPEN between us and our children. We have to make sure they are educated about all the dangers that await them as they become young adults. We have to arm them with knowledge and confidence to make better choices, to protect themselves, and most of all protect others who are in harms way. They have to feel safe enough to know they can call us at any hour for help, and that we will not be mad at them but be there to support them no matter what.

I feel like I want to keep my baby even closer to me than ever before, but I realize, he isn't even a baby anymore! His first year flew by in the blink of an eye, and before I know it, he'll be starting kindergarten, where he will become his own little person, make new friends, and develop his sense of self. He will learn valuable lessons, some will be easy and some wont be. Soon, he'll be in middle school where hormones begin raging and fitting in will seem more important than kissing me good bye as he jumps onto the bus for school. Then high school... where your image, whether jock, nerd, thesbian, debater, etc. can define you. I only hope that my husband and I can instill in my son the confidence to be proud of who he is, be kind to his friends and even those who aren't his friends, have good judgement to know the difference between right and wrong, and stand up for himself and for those who cannot stand up for themselves.

I pray that the girl who was assaulted will be stronger since this happened, make better decisions in the future, and live a healthy, vibrant life. I pray that the families of the boys who did this will think hard about the impact their values have made on their sons. I am certain that the town has learned a painful, but valuable lesson from it all. I pray that I never have to go through something as terrible as this, and will strive to teach my son and future children the values that will make them wonderful human beings.

Finding a balance

My son is one week shy of his first birthday. It's a little surreal! I can't even begin to sum up what this year has taught me... the lessons are immeasurable. I can't put into words the joy my son has brought to my life.... the love is infinite.  My beliefs have been tested and questioned, and my strength and courage is unshakable. My role as a mother is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs I've ever had, and yet I feel a sense of fulfillment and pride I've never known before. As I reflect on a year that has brought so much change, emotion, growth, and fulfillment, I see my happy, healthy, vibrant son, who is an absolute pleasure to be around! I feel grateful!

It's been challenging, to say the least, to try and find a balance between work and family, since starting my practice last fall.  I've been spoiled with the amount of time I've had to watch my son grow up and bond with him. Over the past few months, I've realized it is very difficult to be productive when I'm with him! He's in the phase where he likes to have someone in the same room as him at ALL times. So, if I want to sit at the kitchen table and get some work done, he sits in his high chair, throwing cheerios and fruit puffs at the dog for about 20 minutes until he gets bored and starts to whine! Or, if I even attempt to leave him in the gated family room, where he can CLEARLY see me, about 5 feet away, sitting at the table, he may be able to entertain himself for about 20 minutes before he crawls over to the mesh gate and shrieks while shaking it like he's trying to break out of prison! Never mind the endless amount of toys he has to play with. Mommy is the BEST form of entertainment! He has yet to nap in his crib during the day, and if we attempt this, we get a baby and mama who don't do well with "CIO"!!  We've graduated to naps in the stroller, after a walk outside, or driving around until he falls asleep and hoping we can transfer him to our bed before waking. Basically we've created a monster! This makes accomplishing any work near impossible. With his birthday coming up fast, we're going to have to figure out something different for his naps!

My goals in the coming weeks and months are to work VERY hard on becoming more productive and efficient during the times I am baby-free. I struggle daily to keep things and life in order! The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?!

Aside from the challenges that arise from the distractions of mommyhood, I have accomplished a lot! I really feel like I'm finding my place in my community. I am so grateful for all of the wonderful people and businesses I've made connections with, who are either supporters of me and my practice or have taken that leap and begun their own chiropractic care! I can only hope that with my continued hard work and dedication, I will be able to educate as many people as possible about the positive benefits of chiropractic and share my story with lots and lots of families!

The adventures of this chiro mom have only just begun :) I can't wait to look back on these first few years of Ryder's life and the first few years of my practice and smile, knowing how many challenges I overcame and how my love for my family AND chiropractic conquered every hardship, every crappy day, and every obstacle thrown my way!

I really enjoy sharing my journey with you and hope I can inspire others to make a positive impact in their communities as well!

Where have all my brain cells gone?!

2012 has been quite the year for me!  I have a lot to be thankful for, but I do have a few goals I'd like to achieve in 2013.

1) Find a healthy balance between being a mom, a wife, and a business owner.
2) Exercising at least 4 times/week and cutting out the minimal crap (ie: bagels, my weakness) from my diet.
3) Making better use of the brain cells I still have left.

All of these goals are important to me for different reasons. Juggling three different roles has its challenges and I'd like to know that I'm doing everything possible to be the best mom, wife, and chiropractor I can be. A healthy lifestyle will promote better health and allow me to enjoy those three important roles to the fullest. A properly functioning brain is important... because it would be nice to remember things such as the last time I shaved my legs, where I put the dog leash, how long the leftovers have been sitting in the fridge, etc.

But let's focus on goal # 3. I find that many of the recurring "issues" in my life arise from my poor memory. It seems simple... write everything down so you don't forget! Right?! Well... I put reminders in my cell phone to sound an alarm when I need reminding. I have a notepad and a personal planner that I bring with me that I REALLY try to write important thoughts down on. I have Google docs devoted to the lists of things I need to get done. I have a dry erase board calendar hanging up just outside our kitchen so my hubby and I can see everything happening in the current month. I feel like I cover all my bases and yet I still seem to forget to do things that are insignificant (folding the laundry before it gets too wrinkly) as well as things that matter (paying bills, following up on important leads, etc.).

I am not trying to make excuses (although I'm really good at it, ask my hubby and watch him roll his eyes!). I think part of the problem is trying to do a million things in a 24 hour period... there just never seems to be enough time. I can now proclaim that moms are the best multitaskers in the world. Period, the end.
Also, I cannot ignore the chronic sleep deprivation I've acquired over the last 8.5 months. I made the decision to nurse my son whenever I'm with him (pump and bottle feed when he's with his dad or grandparents, and he recently started eating purees and finger foods, too). We've (I've?!) created our own version of co-sleeping that's become a routine in our household. My son starts off the night in his crib between 7:30-8:30pm and anywhere from 4-7 hours later, he's up and ready for mommy to sleepily walk into his room, pick him up, and bring him back to bed. I don't have the energy to try to rock him back to sleep and put him down for fear I myself may fall asleep sitting up with a baby on my lap. Safety first, my friends. My sweet little boy uses mommy as a pacifier to soothe himself to sleep... and I let him. Sigh.

At this point I'm sure some of you may be saying "I told you not to co-sleep!" Maybe you are judging me for not being strict and getting him into his crib earlier, or wondering why I'm still nursing my almost 9 month old. Maybe you can relate because you've been there (or ARE there), too. Maybe your little angel baby started sleeping through the night at 2 weeks old (please stop running around town telling people that because the Tired Moms of America are over the boasting. We get it. You sleep well. Congratufreakinglations.)

There's plenty of opinions and advice being thrown around to expectant moms and new moms... and while I appreciate people who think they are helping, (and sometimes they are...) each woman and family has to take this journey and learn on their own. And boy, there's a lot to learn! I truly enjoy having my son close and knowing that I can make him feel safe, secure, and help him comfortably fall asleep. Unfortunately for me, now that he's older and much bigger and stronger, he rolls around in our bed for half of the night, waking me, the lightest sleeper ever, up every few hours with a jab in the ribs or slap in the face. I'd like to think he is  having a kick ass dream about something really fun...  I have bruises all over my body of which I do not know their origin (well, I guess it comes from my Kung-Fu dreamer). Or maybe it's because I'm super clumsy and walk into bed posts and walls on a regular basis. Did I just admit that? Oh well.

I don't remember what a full night's sleep feels like. I wish I did. I yearn for it. I dream of it. My other mommy friends who are in the Dark Circles Under Your Eyes Club can empathize with me. (I'd like to thank Estee Lauder for making a fabulous under-eye concealer.) I have short moments of frustration and resentment, wondering if I made the best decisions for our family (for our sanity?!), but then I remember that I have one of the most amazing, happy, loving, friendly, chatty, confident little boys I've ever met. I am beyond grateful for this gift we've been given, and am constantly bursting with love for this little chunky monkey. He gets everything he needs, and then some. I hope my hubby's patience will continue to stay strong for this sleep-deprived mama.  I'll never stop trying to do better for my son, for my hub, and for myself.  Maybe I should start playing memory games to keep my mind sharp. Anyone up for a game of Guess Who? (Does that make me sound young or old?)

All I know is when I finally do get that full night of sleep, you'll hear me singing from the rooftops. Until then, I am accepting donations of Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts gift cards. And Ginko Biloba. Hey, we all have our vices... it could be a hell of a lot worse than coffee! I love caffeine. And sleep. But I love having a happy, healthy son even more... so for now, farewell brain cells. It was nice knowing you.

Grateful at 30

It's a little hard to believe that I just turned 30. It feels like yesterday I was rehearsing at my dance studio 6 days a week and heading to the beach with my best girlfriends on Sunday for a little South Florida sunshine, Uncle Luke blaring on the radio, and a Power smoothie as a reward for our hard work tanning. Oh the priorities of a high schooler... was that really over ten years ago?!

Things have changed quite a bit since then! As I reflect on the last decade or so, I realize how much I've grown and how much I've learned about life, friendship, relationships, communication, health, and being a new parent. I acknowledge and feel proud that I have found confidence in the inner depths of my being that I didn't know existed. This confidence allowed me to take the leap of faith to move to a new state and continue my education. This confidence allowed me to end a long relationship that in my heart I knew was over well before we actually called it quits. This confidence allowed me to choose and be passionate about a career that makes TOTAL sense to me yet many people still don't understand or want to understand it. This confidence allowed me to open my heart to the possibility of (re)meeting someone I barely knew in high school and falling in love again.

There are many wonderful things that I am proud to have accomplished and there are other life-defining moments that I wish would have turned out differently.  There are people who have come into my life who will be life long friends.  Although (very) difficult to admit, there are friends I have had to let go of... and friends who let go of me, the reason for which I may never know. I married my best friend, the most patient, loving, goofy, kind-hearted husband any girl could ask for, and had my first child. These two boys complete me in a way I could have never fathomed and light up my life every single day.

And of course, I've made many mistakes along the way. Who hasn't?

I am so grateful for all of the opportunities and life lessons that have molded me into the person I am today. They haven't all been easy, that's for sure! With all that I have, in the months approaching this milestone birthday, I still felt there is one thing left for me to do that would truly make me more well-rounded and complete. Part of this journey led my little family of 3 to Spain for a sabbatical, if you will. We wanted some real quality time together and the timing just worked out perfectly for us to be able to make it happen. We ate, drank, explored, reconnected with ourselves and a very dear friend, and put our heads together to figure out the next step in our lives and careers.

After a few weeks of serious introspection, I came back, once again, to this conclusion: I am extremely passionate about chiropractic. It changed my life and made me open my eyes to an entirely new perspective about health, wellness, and life in general.  I will forever be grateful for my first chiropractor and mentor who introduced me to chiropractic, philosophy groups and seminars, and the possibility to wake up every morning truly excited to go to work because it doesn't feel like work at all. When I'm 90 years old, I want to look back on my life and know that I went against the grain, that I left a legacy, that I made a difference.

The big 3-0 is a milestone for many people. Some fear it, some embrace it. I chose to embrace this next chapter in my life, I have so much to look forward to! After many discussions and careful thought and planning, I decided to put on my big girl pants and start my own practice, in my hometown, and share my passion and dedication to health, wellness, and chiropractic with as many families as I possibly can. I hope I can impact the lives of the people in my community the way my mentor did for me. I hope I can open up people's eyes to what's really going on in our country's healthcare system and how small changes can make such a huge difference in your health and your life.

Don't get me wrong... when I hear a 90's megamix on the radio or pass by Nova Drive,  I will always be taken back to fond memories of my younger glory days! But now it's time to focus on making an impact on my community, and I'm totally ready for the challenge :)

Yours in health,

Dr. Carly, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, dreamer...

The Mom Club

While many of my life defining roles occurred more easily (wife, daughter, sister, friend), some took blood, sweat, and tears to achieve... college... graduate school... becoming a mother!! I waited 29 years to become a mom, and it will be my greatest achievement in my life! I did not realize it could be like this... the mom club, that is. It's the most rewarding, fulfilling club I've ever been a part of.  I always knew that I would be here one day, but you never really know what to expect until it happens to you.

I've always known deep down in my soul that I wanted be a mom. There's no way to know when the "right time" to become parents will be. There's no way to prepare for the journey you'll begin when the little stick (or four!) says positive.  What I do know is that I have always loved kids-- their free spirits, light-heartedness, resilience, outlook on life. I may have chosen my lifestyle and career because it is congruent with who I am, but being a mom is my calling, my life's purpose. 

I honestly didn't really feel like a mom until very recently. I don't think I fully grasped the enormity of becoming a parent right away.  That "4th trimester" turned my world upside down!  Finally, some of the initial exhaustion, hormonal, brand-new mom fog has lifted and I feel a little more like my myself, but with a different, cool perspective.  It's the precious moments when your baby is sleeping, or snuggling with you, or growing and learning right in front of your eyes that makes you realize, "Wow, look at him... I'm his MOM!" It brings me ridiculous joy. It's simply wonderful.

My membership in the mom club has ignited a spark within me to do everything I can to raise our son the best way we know how.  I'm sure some of the choices we've made so far have left somewhat of an impression on my friends and family... water birth, exclusively breast feeding (so far), co-sleeping, etc.   Whether that impression is positive or negative (or other), it is what it is! I am very proud and confident in our parenting thus far.  Please understand... by no means do I think I know everything! I am sure I will make many mistakes! If you want to know more about certain choices we've made, please ask! I don't mind! In fact I like talking about it with people who have open minds. With all the crazy stuff you see in the media, it's important to think outside of the box and stimulate your brain these days, otherwise we all might melt into a pile of reality tv/political mush!

I don't assume, judge, or criticize anyone, so I hope you won't either.

My health and wellness background motivates me to be a more informed parent. I take this information and help families create and achieve their health goals. How cool is that?!  I look forward to sharing my journey in motherhood and being a chiropractor with you!

Until next time... hasta luego!

PS- I 100% acknowledge my borderline addiction to posting pictures of my son online. When you are so in love with this little person, it's hard not to share the happiness! Plus, I have lots of friends and family who haven't met him yet. I appreciate my mommy friends who also share in this pastime :)

The mommy diaries... take one.

*Disclaimer*
This blog is real, uncensored, probably inappropriate and definitely shares TMI. If you don't like it, if you're a man or not a mom yet and you can't appreciate it... why are you reading it?!

I'm exhausted, engorged, and emotional... oh my!

Ryder is 6 weeks old!  Currently, he is wrapped nice and warmly on me in his moby (and by warmly I mean he's a furnace and this is South Florida and it's not even summer time yet but still boiling hot outside... WTF). I call him my angel baby when his little head rests on my chest in the moby and he sleeps (see picture below!). He looks so peaceful and I wonder if he dreams of breast milk or a nice big poop? Probably both, because they pretty much consume our lives! I'm catching quick glances at him every few minutes while I cautiously type this blog, making sure not to wake him and carefully sipping some new iced coffee beverage I bought at the store. Last night I prepared, cooked, and ate an entire meal while wearing my son in his moby. I am the ultimate multitasker... or superwoman, either will suffice.

New discovery #1-- Your brain becomes mush after you have a baby. I ramble, I lose my train of thought, I make stupid mistakes that I can only laugh at because otherwise I'd cry. For someone with a post graduate education, I sure feel like an idiot sometimes. Example: I bought my girlfriend's son some clothes/shoes for his birthday... 2T size... and made the card out to him, wishing him a happy 2nd birthday. He turned one this year. I knew this. Oops.

New discovery #2-- I have a new understanding of exhaustion. When you breast feed, the baby (my baby at least) eats on demand. Nursing could be every 2-3 hours on the dot... 24/7. At night I am lucky and he goes a little longer... maybe 3-4 hours. Last night Danny fed the baby a late night feeding and I got to sleep from midnight until 5:45am. Those late night daddy shifts are essential every once in a while! The only downside... when you breastfeed and you don't feed your child for one shift... engorgement (New discovery #3). I imagine engorgement sort of feels like what having new fake breasts may feel like? Nothing can quite prepare you for that uncomfortable feeling... and you better have some nursing pads on! Oh boy.

Thankfully daddy just came downstairs at just the right time so I could unwrap baby, pass him to daddy, recover from my hot flash, and hook up to the pump. It's only 9:30am and I feel like I've been awake since... forever.

New discovery #4-- No one really prepared me for the emotional roller coaster. My hormones have been wacky since I got pregnant, and they have been relentless ever since. I've only had maybe 2 emotional breakdowns in 6 weeks... that's not too bad in my opinion. The first was the worst... a couple days after my best friend flew back to Spain. I didn't know a body could produce so many tears. But I got through it with the company of my dad and some texts and phone calls to some fellow mommy friends. I thank my lucky stars for them all! I don't know how long this up and down thing will last, or the break outs...!  All I can do is keep busy (HA! Not too difficult these days) and visit with friends and family, who keep me relatively sane.

I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining? I'm not trying to. It's more of a self-discovery... a vent... to openly share a few of the things I wasn't really prepared for. But with the not so nice craziness that is a post partum mommy comes the pure bliss of waking up every day looking at your amazingly wonderful child. He is a perfect combination of my hubby and me. He is tracking objects and lights. He is starting to coo the most delicious noises, and I swear he will smile on purpose any day now. I've seen many sleep smiles and a few half smiles yesterday. Heaven! The love he brings out of me is hard to explain. It grows every day, which is awesome. The love he brings out of my husband, parents, in-laws, uncles, and his great grandma is pretty amazing too. He brings joy to our entire family and it's a very special time we are all just eating up!

Daddy just took Ryder out for a few hours... their first "boys day out." I don't know what I'll do with myself. Go to the pool? Maybe. Sleep? Hell yes. Shower? A long one! Miss them? Of course :)